Forfeit.

when I made my screen name and this WordPress I vaguely wanted to do as my nom de plume suggests, but I’ve given up on that much like I give up on many things in life. for the rest of days I’m probably just gonna use this WordPress to dump all my depressing shit that…

flood~

life sure is hard. couple days ago I was cleaning up my bathroom. while sweeping behind my toilet I hit the toilet water intake valve, and it EXPLODED! water rushing everywhere, flooding the upstairs. after trying in vain to put the valve back on and trying to stop up the pipe with something, I ran…

Mayo and sadness

I made homemade mayo for the first time in a while, turned out pretty great. 1 egg yolk 2 tbls vinegar 1/2cp neutral flavored cooking oil splash of lemon juice splash of soy sauce some amount of dijon I didn’t measure. 2 small spoonfuls? beat the heck out of your eggs, vinegar, mustard, splashes, then…

dream

today I dreamt I wasn’t alone anymore, I seemed happy.

you. I hate you.

Every day I go to sleep and every night I wake up, I see you. I see you and I hate you. I beg you “why can’t it change” but, nothing ever does. I cry “you could do so much more, BE so much more.” but you don’t even try. I talk to you every…

Awareness, and actually Food

now that more than one person has apparently read these, (totally forgot I linked to this site on a few sites), I feel like I should do something with food~ but, first, backstory So, many years back¬†when I was a kid I was selected to do a student ambassador thing where a shitload of kids…

empty

ahh~ I feel so empty when I’m not doing anything and I can’t seem to finish anything I do start……I don’t even know why I write these posts….

isolated

I feel conflicted, on one hand, I feel so utterly alone, on the other hand, I can’t stand most human interaction. I love to be alone but, I feel so lonely. Is it possible to want to be alone but not feel so lonely? I wish there was a magic eight ball that really worked…

still tired.

it doesn’t get any easier. each day takes a month but a month barely feels like a day. I want there to be more. but there isn’t, I’m still so tired.