out of the hospital, long road of recovery, i feel sick.

I want out

I’m tired, I hurt, I don’t wanna be here anymore, I just want to go home but home is gone, I hate this place, I hate this state, I’m tired and I don’t want to do this anymore. I wish I hadn’t gone to the hospital. Everyone here is amazing and polite and beautiful people,…


My Aunt passed away just a little while ago today. I don’t know what to do with myself so I guess I’m posting here. she was an amazing woman and an amazing fighter. all her life she stood up against bullies and people who looked down on others. when she saw someone being mistreated she…

new pup

my mother had two chihuahuas named Jet(m) and Pearl(f) they weren’t from the same litter but they grew up as brother and sister with Jet being 10 weeks and Pearl 8 when we got them. unfortunately, Pearl passed a bit ago last year. since then Jet has been very melancholy and well depressed, more importantly(hey…


*slams head down* FUUUCK!


I’ve had pretty bad hands for a while, some early arthritis pains, carpal tunnel syndrome in the right and cubital tunnel syndrome in the left. you know the usual…maybe even tendonitis…don’t know for sure, haven’t been to the doctors.   the move exacerbated things, lost the feeling in the tips of my fingers nearly 6…

tired again

I wish I had made better choices in my life.   I’m so tired, all the time.   it’d be nice to be able to at least sleep longer than 2 hours at a clip   tired.

bad luck follows

I swear I’m being followed by bad luck.   just before I lost my old house an old pipe burst ruining a large portion of my clothes and a bunch of electronics.   now, staying with my mother, in the house she is renting, a fucking pipe burst for no apparent reason.   flooded the…

The long weekend comes to an end

Be packing up the car and heading back to my new home tomorrow morning. Can’t sleep, haven’t been able to all weekend, it’s made me irritable, and it feels like gloomy days are coming.   Idk, just a feeling.

highs and lows

sigh~ it takes so much to get a “high” from life anymore~ it’s quite unfair how little it takes to feel low~ tried making some kinda chocolate cheesecake turnover and it failed SPECTACULARLY and it seems this was more than enough for me to say “fuck today~ I’m sleeping through it”